Open the damn door.
He loved us, not because we were lovely to him, but to make us lovely. // Tim Keller
This is one of the simplest concepts on paper but one of the most challenging for me to fully understand and live by. I have a constant fear of being unworthy of love because of how flawed and broken I am, or because I don't feel like I've done enough to deserve it. Being fully known and fully loved has never seemed like a possible combination. People act like they don't care to open up and be vulnerable, because they know that others will see them for all the things they've worked so hard to cover up. They fear that no one would/could ever love and accept all of those demons they've shoved into closets with deadbolts on their doors. People's walls are built so high and so strong because letting anyone or anything chip away at them until they fall down is seen as weakness. But it is really the most powerful strength.
Understanding that God sees right through all walls and deadbolted doors, sees every person's insecurities and doubts, sees every fault and every flaw, sees all brokenness in its entirety -- and still loves them -- that's something else. And it's so hard for people to do the same for each other.
But I'm learning that this is truly an integral part of the meaning of marriage. This is how it's supposed to be when you marry someone. The commitment to love another regardless of who they become over time is what marriage is about. Seeing someone to their very core and still choosing to love them, because your love is what's going to encourage them to take the deadbolts off and drag the demons out of their closet. Love is what people need to become who they're meant to become while they're alive. The unconditional love from someone like God or your husband or your wife is the kind that's been standing outside day and night, pounding on your door. All we really have to do is stop hiding, open the damn door and invite them in to stay awhile.